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It seems as if the Google Fiber we thought we might be getting, isn’t the Google Fiber we thought it was.  In a recent document released from Google headquarters, they said, “because of Asheville’s growing number of senior citizens we’ve decided not to install a fiber optic network but instead have opted to use Asheville as our testing ground for our all new Google Brand Fiber Flakes.”  Snurch would like to remind all of our geriatric readers, to remember to put in your teeth before you eat and always be close to a toilet seat.  Google’s new Fiber Flakes are supposed to be the fasting working fiber cereal on the planet.

Google Fiber Flakes,   “Have a scoop and take a poop!”

Remember folks we here at Snurch, always shoot the truth!

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The following are facts that lead me, and a privileged few, to believe that Asheville will receive, if it hasn’t already, Google’s Large Fiber.

  1. Asheville once spent the night with Google at the Grove Park Inn.
  2. Google has an Asheville love-doll that smells like coffee, beer and weed.
  3. Asheville once made Google a Vegan meal.
  4. Asheville and Google have matching dolphin butt tattoos by Danny Reed.
  5. Google once shaved its pubes to look like the Asheville skyline.
  6. Asheville once shaved off all of its pubes because thats what Google wanted.
  7. Google once put its finger in Beaucatcher tunnel and Asheville loved it…
  8. Google’s finger still smells like Beaucatcher tunnel.
  9. Asheville Googles itself at least 5 times a day.
  10. During Bele Chere 2008, Google and Asheville got drunk and sat on Short Coxe all day.
  11. Asheville’s motto “Anyway you Like it”…. who do you think Asheville was talking to?
  12. And finally compare the two logos, especially their color usage….hmmmm, me thinks they dress each other.

This is only the most recent evidence that my thorough investigating has uncovered, however, should any new information come to light I shall be swift in posting it.  Also, please post anything you may have unearthed.