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The Snurch team has been working tirelessly to create its own iPhone app, and in the process we have become discouraged based on many of our ideas not only being already taken, but also already having failed.  Here is our list of unsuccessful iPhone Apps.

  1. “Chuckit” :  This app  measures, in the feet, how far you can throw your iPhone.
  2. “GroundPound”:  This little wonder measures the amount of force, in pounds, that you can slam your iPhone onto pavement or any surface for that matter.
  3. “YourLastMeal”:  Place your sphincter over the receiver, pass gas and this app will tell you what you’ve recently digested.
  4. “WellDone”:  Place your iPhone in the oven with your Turkey to get the perfect temperature reading.  Celsius or fahrenheit.
  5. “SexOffensive”:  This app takes your current location and searches for nearby sex offenders.  When one gets within 50 ft. of your phone it starts playing either Gary Glitter’s “Rock and Roll pt 2” or this scene from Roman Polanski’s “Pirates”
  6. “DeepBlue” :  Simply carry your phone in your hand while you dive into the water as deep as you can.  It will measure your depth in fathoms.
  7. “CDA”:  Also known as the “Celebrity Death App”.  Be the first to know when a celebrity dies because that’s really important.  Whatchu talkin’ bout Apple?  Too soon?
  8. “KluxKollaborator”:  Are you in the Klan and on vacation but don’t know how Klu friendly the town your staying in is?  Well the “KluxKollaborator” searches for other members using the same app.  Even if they don’t have the app it will search Facebook users personal information and based on level of education and number of teeth it will determine if indeed someone is Klu friendly.
  9. “MerkinXchange”: Find local people who want to buy, sell or trade new and used merkins.  Whats a merkin? Clickme!
  10. “SnurchIt”: Take a picture of something in need of a good Snurching, send it to us and we’ll personally create one for you!

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