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From our friends at Snurch AZ:

In a Snurchy twist, local law enforcement now recommends that women aged 20-35 avoid any man wearing anything linked with the Tommy Bahama brand.

Although, they pose little danger, their distorted self-image may lead to unwelcome sexual advances, leering and age-inappropriate behavior.  They can be easily identified by their clothing and accessories.  The typical shirt will be loose-fitting with a disproportionately large image that celebrates martinis, hula girls and/or fishing.

Ironically, these men use the brand in an attempt to look young.  But the baggy shirts, with their giant nostalgia laden images of a long-gone beach culture shield the truth like powdered sugar on a turd, making avoidance fairly simple for young women.

These men may also attempt to blend in with the younger set by acting as if they are texting on their phones.  But sadly, few of them can muster the dexterity to type the simplest of messages.

As always, there is a tragic side to this story.  As psychologist, Dr. Norman Davis points out, “these are not lifeless robots cruising for young chicks.  They are human beings, usually living with remnants of alienated families.”

Dr. Davis also runs a rescue group that helps men escape from the Tommy Bahama brand illusion and has placed copies of the following poster in bars, nightclubs and urologists’ offices across the United States.

If someone you know is haunted by this affliction, please help.


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